Patience
by LadyLuck282
Summary: Caskett. Castle and Beckett struggle with a growingly romanic relationship and balance it with solving the murder of a wealthy socialite.
1. Giving In

**A/N: If it resembles the show _Castle _in any way, I don't own it.**

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><p>"Kate, I swear to you, if we catch a cab in this weather I'll buy you a pony for Christmas," Richard Castle said to his partner, squinting up at the heavy snow and the chilling, icy sleet that was falling. The universe must truly love irony, because at that very moment a taxi pulled up in front of them.<p>

Kate grabbed his arm and yanked him to it, muttering her address to the driver as she did. Once they were seated in the back she raised an eyebrow at him, "I would prefer a new motorcycle, Castle."

He shot her a crooked grin, "As much as I'd love to help you pick one out, I think ponies get better gas mileage."

Kate was about to say something about tight leather pants, but it was launched out of her mouth as the cab slide sharply to the right and she was thrown from her seat and into Castle's lap.

"Whoa, Beckett!" He said in surprise, lifting her up a little to make sure she was alright. She scrambled backwards to her seat. Upon confirming she was unharmed, he said with a smirk, "I know I'm irresistible, but I don't want the cab driver getting distracted."

True enough, the cabby was looking back at them.

Beckett scowled at Castle, reddening a little, though it was masked in the semi-darkness created by the late afternoon and the snow.

"Though you should probably put your seat-belt on," He finished earnestly.

She took his advice without hesitation.

They arrived to Beckett's apartment about thirty minutes later, though the trip should have taken few more than five, slightly jostled, and arguing about whether Castle should continue on his way home or stay with Beckett.

"Kate, I'm didn't disarm a nuke, survive a tiger, and outsmart a bank robber just to die in a taxi crash! I'm staying over, whether you like it or not."

She rolled her eyes but she could see that there was no way to get out of this one. Besides, to tell the honest truth she didn't like the idea of him driving all the way across town in this weather either. "Fine, Castle." She was about to add stipulations but something caused the words to die before they ever got out of her mind. Castle let out a little cry of excitement and jumped out of the car, presently slipping and nearly falling face first onto the sidewalk. Kate laughed after he caught his balance, handing the cabby his wage.

"Glad you find amusement in my near-death experiences," He scowled at her.

She laughed again and got out of the taxi, only to lose her own balance on the icy sidewalk. She lurched backwards toward the street but Castle caught her arm.

"Whoa, Beckett!" He repeated in surprise, for the second time that night. She threw herself into him in a panic, clinging to his shoulders. They looked up at each other, and then burst out laughing.

"Come on," She said after a moment, flushed from the laughter. She clamped her hand onto his wrist and together the cautiously made their way to the apartment building.

Once inside, they discarded their damp jackets and shoes.

"Man, it's freezing in here!" Castle said, "What temperature to you keep this place at?"

"I turn my heater off when I'm not home. The building has a heating unit that gets up to around 60 in the winter. Unlike you, I don't have the money to keep my footstools warm when I don't need to."

"You could put it on a timer, you know," He suggested, targeting the thermostat and turning the heat up.

"Eh," She replied noncommittally, "I don't always know what time I'll get home."

"There's probably an app for that."

"Knowing what time you'll get home?"

"Turning the thermostat on," He replied, "But there's probably a traffic factoring app, too."

She smiled. Castle walked over the living room and flopped down on the couch, grabbing the remote and switching the TV on to show _A Christmas Story_. Castle gave a yelp of joy, causing Kate to start a little. She walked over and sat down down next to him.

"I can't believe they're playing this right now! This is my favorite Christmas movie!" He said, looking over at her, "I asked for a Red Ryder BB gun every year until I was twelve."

Kate smiled. Suddenly, her heart felt as though it was about to burst through her chest. She let out a laugh and leaned into him, surprising even herself as he placed a small kiss on his lips. She paused a fraction of a centimeter from his face, both sets of features portraying shock. Then, without hesitation she let her lips crash back onto his again. He was surprised by the hunger and passion of the kiss, but by no means did he protest. He wrapped a hand around her waist and pressed her back against the arm of the couch as the kiss grew more intense. They paused to take in air.

"Kate..." He murmured.

She responded with a small moan into his mouth.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" He continued between kisses, "Are you sure you want this?"

"Oh, Castle..." She murmured, "I don't know how this is going to turn out. But right now..." She paused in her speech as their lips crashed together again, "I want this... Just this..." She added with a little emphasis. It was true; she cared about Castle a lot. More than she cared to admit. But she didn't know if she was strong enough to be a part of this kind of relationship yet. Not with her mother's case still unsolved. Not with her feelings for Castle so undecided.

She could handle a relationship, unlike what she had told Castle on the swing set that day. She could have easily kept going with out Josh. She had liked him; he was a good man. But how could she continue to go out with him after what Castle had said to her? He told her he loved her. And though she's sure Josh had had strong feelings about her she doubted he loved her. And, after Montgomery had died, it had grown harder for her to deny the fact that she honestly cared for Castle more than Josh.

But that didn't mean she was ready for such a commitment. On the contrary, she was even more afraid of and overwhelmed by the prospect. She couldn't have one foot out the door on this one. However, she also couldn't deny that the more she was around Castle the more she wanted to be as physically close to him as she possibly could. Maybe, right now, that would be enough for her. Enough for him.

"Just this..." Castle repeated. Kate's entire internal monologue had lasted less than a second. She clamped a hand into Castle's hair and placed the other around his neck.

"Please..." She murmured. "For now, can we just have this?"

"We can have this as long as you want, Kate," He replied. Then the talking gave way to kissing completely as they feel into one another.

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><p><strong>AN: Please review! I was interested in doing a story that had to do with Kate and her internal debate about Castle, relationships, and her mother's murder because I don't feel like the show really gave as much as they could in that aspect.**


	2. Mistakes

**So it didn't end up exactly how I had anticipated it would. Beckett and Castle wake next to each other the next morning.**

**Disclaimer: Anything that looks or sounds like Castle doesn't belong to me.**

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><p>Beckett awoke the next morning to the gentle rise and fall of a bare chest against her own. For a moment, she relished the warmth and steadiness it offered. It had been several months since she had woken up next to someone else. Well, when you didn't include the time she woke up hand-cuffed to Castle. Castle. With a jolt, she sprung backwards away him. He jerked awake from the sudden movement and blinked slowly.<p>

"G' morning," He mumbled.

"Castle!" She said sharply. She sat up and promptly yanked the covers over her bare chest.

"What?" He replied groggily, rubbing his eyes.

"What are you... what..." She trailed off, not entirely sure what she had meant to ask.

He watched her sit tensely on the edge of the bed for a second, and then laid his head back down.

"Castle!" She repeated, holding the sheet up with one hand and with the other, picking up a pillow and hitting him in the head.

"What was that for?" He asked, propping himself up and blocking further smacks with his arm.

"Get up!" She told him.

"I'm tired!" He protested.

"Castle..." She repeated warningly. He sighed and sat up. She watched him, if not a little guiltily, cross the room to pick up the clothes he had discarded last night. Kate almost started to smile at the memory, but caught herself. Yes, sex with Richard Castle was fun. Everything about him was fun. And great. And wonderful. _Dammit, Kate!_ She scolded herself, becoming aware of the little smile that had worked it's way onto her face as those thoughts had been crossing her mind. _Stop thinking about that! You know you're not ready for a relationship. Especially not with this man._ From somewhere in the back of her head came a small cry of disagreement. She squashed it. _No. Tell him to leave and forget all about this. Don't get yourself into something like this, it never ends well._

Castle was now finished getting dressed, so he turned to her.

She had no idea what to say, and Castle's face was serious. That scared the shit out of her.

"Kate..." He said softly. All other thoughts evaporated from her mind as she watched him walk over, wide-eyed. "I need you to tell me what this means."

"What it... It doesn't mean anything, Castle. It was a mistake," She tried to sound confident, but she was worried he would be upset. However, he just shrugged.

"It was a nice mistake, then," He hesitated. "You'll still let me shadow you, right?"

"I'll let things go back to normal as long as you can," She replied. One mistake didn't constitute the end of their partnership, did it? She didn't want it to.

A broad smile crossed Castle's face, "Good. Thank you, Kate." With that, he turned and left.

Beckett didn't know whether she was pleased or disappointed by Castle's response to her rejection. It wasn't as though she wanted him to be unhappy, but she hadn't expected to handle it so well. As for herself, she didn't know how she was handling what had just happened. Last night, it had all just felt so right. And then this morning... well, she certainly couldn't say she hadn't enjoyed waking up next to him. But what was she supposed to do? She couldn't go out with him. Not yet. Not when she could barely even admit that she had enjoyed being with him to _herself_, much less to him.

Maybe he would let things go back to normal. But even then, would she be able to sort out everything she was feeling about him?

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><p>"Well look who decided to drop by," Martha called to her son as he strolled into the apartment with a swing in his step and a smile on his face broader than the Grand Canyon. "Looks like you had a nice night."<p>

"Oh, Mother, must you always poke around in my personal life?"

"Richard, I'm your mother. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't _have _a personal life. Or any life, for that matter."

For once he didn't offer any sort of reply, just strode over to the kitchen and began pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"So?" Martha said after she realized he wasn't going to say anything. "Spill. It wasn't a one-night stand, was it?" She asked accusingly.

"No need to use that tone. And no, I'm pretty sure this won't be the only time."

"What do you mean, 'pretty sure'?"

He just smiled.

"Richard..." She said warningly.

"She might have responded badly this morning but I think she'll come around," He replied evasively. And, despite his mother's further prying, that was his final comment on the matter.

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><p><strong>This didn't turn out how I had originally anticipated, and I'm not entirely sure where I'm going to take it next. I'd love to hear what you all would like to see!<strong>

**Please review and tell me what you thought of it!**


	3. Deadly Caller

**I don't know how I feel about this chapter, but I needed to get this part over with. Rest assured I'll get back to the Caskettness ASAP.**

**Disclaimer: If it's looks or sounds like Castle it doesn't belong to me.**

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><p>Later that morning found Kate Beckett working diligently away at the always-present pile of paperwork on her desk. She actually became so engrossed in the activity that she didn't notice Castle until he placed her daily coffee on the desk in front of her and sat down in his chair.<p>

"Morning, Detective," He said buoyantly. It was as though everything that had gone on between them had never happened. Just like she had told him to do, but somehow she felt a little disappointed.

"Morning, Castle," She replied, trying to sound genuinely cheerful. For some reason, it just sounded hollow.

He looked around the bullpen. Phones were ringing, and the soft indoor lighting made the room feel warm and lazy despite to fact that it was the middle of December.

"We don't have a case?" He asked.

"Nope."

"But it's the holidays!" He almost protested, "There's got to be some person somewhere who's murdered a spouse or..." He thought about it, "Maybe a second lover who threatened to spill and ruin the family's Christmas!"

She rolled her eyes, "Well, if there is they did a good job of hiding the body."

He let out a sardonic laugh, "What if they hid it inside a present and forgot to move it later? Wouldn't _that _be a surprising gift!"

Beckett smiled a little. She found it amazing how this one man could make her feel so happy and secure. Was she really so sure that last night had been a mistake? In all honesty, right now she wanted little more than to drag him to the nearest janitor's closet. _No! _She told herself firmly. _For god's sake, get a grip! You're acting like a love-crazed teenager! You know perfectly well why you need to keep your distance when it comes to Castle. You need to sort your own life out before you go getting involved with someone else's._

She exhaled quietly and returned to her paperwork, trying to rein in her mind as it wandered over thoughts of the night before and of janitor's closets and of Castle. She would have been grateful when her phone rang, if it had not happened at the exact moment that she was sneaking a gaze of at him. She felt almost violated, as though the phone had been waiting for just the right second to ring at her. It was irrational, she knew, but she answered it with a little excess force anyway.

"Beckett," She said sharply.

"Hey..." It was Esposito, "You, uh, okay?" He sounded a little amused.

"Shut up, I'm fine."

"Okay..."

"Just- what did you call for?" She changed the subject.

"We got a case."

Beckett felt relieved. A case was exactly what she needed to take her mind off of Castle.

Or so she thought.

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><p>Beckett and Castle arrived to the crime scene about fifteen minutes later.<p>

It was a bright day, and the sun was glittering off the freshly fallen snow and making her squint. They were in front of a classic-looking red brick mansion, and a man in his late forties or early fifties stood outside with a distraught look on his face, next to Ryan. Ryan saw Beckett and, with a final scribble on his notepad and a sympathetic word to the man, he headed over to her.

"Hey, Beckett."

"Hey," She replied, "What do you have for me?"

"Victim is Tracy Mans. Guy over there is her husband, Robert Mans. Said the doorbell rang and his wife went to answer it, and a few seconds later he heard a shot. He came running downstairs to find his wife dead, but didn't see the killer."

"Hmm," Beckett said skeptically.

"Exactly what I was thinking."

She turned her attention to the house. The grand door stood open and she could see Lanie leaning over the the body of the dead woman.

"Hey Lanie," She said, walking over. Castle followed.

"Hey Beckett. Castle," She looked at the two with her usual air of suspicion, though this time it made Kate's stomach squirm. Thoughts of Castle and the previous night pushed their way to the forefront of her mind. Taking a steadying breath, she looked down at the victim. She was a woman in her late forties, with a stony face and dyed-blonde hair. She was dressed in clothes that looked genuinely expensive and wore two large diamond earrings.

"Those earrings real?" She asked.

"Hell yeah!" Lanie said, "They're nice."

"How nice?" Castle inquired.

"About 20 grand worth of nice."

Castle made a strangled choking noise and Beckett looked over at him.

"I'm sorry-_ how _much?" He asked Lanie.

"Well, I'm no expert but I'd say these are worth close to 20,000 dollars."

"Exactly how much money do these people have?"

Lanie just raised her eyebrows at him, "Well, our victim has a 32 caliber bullet wound to the chest."

Beckett nodded, "Time of death?"

"About twenty minutes ago. Would've been right around the time the husband called it in. So if it was him, he stashed the gun and got cleaned up pretty quick; the officers got here in less than five minutes. I wouldn't rule him out, though. He could have had the time.."

"Okay," She looked around the room, "I think I'll let you and CSU finish up here, and bring him down to the precinct."

"Fine by me," Lanie returned her attention to the body as Beckett and Castle walked back out of the house.

"You think the husband did it? Lanie said he could have had the opportunity."

"I don't know, Castle. We haven't talked to him yet, remember?"

"Oh yeah," He said thoughtfully. She looked at him sideways, and then let out a little laugh.

He looked back at her curiously, "What?"

"Nothing," She replied, though she couldn't stop herself from smiling a little. How much of a mistake had last night really been? Right now it hardly seemed like one at all. He was being so professional about it, not pushing or bringing it up or even hinting about it. It would have been so easy for her to forget it, yet that seemed to make her remember it even more. Plus it had just felt _so good_. She couldn't remember that last time she had felt so happy. From the back of her mind, the inaudible voice gained volume. _Why are you wondering about this, Kate? Why do you want to keep him out of your life when he makes you so happy? _But the louder part of her brain pushed that away. _Don't even think about it. Somethings are better left alone. Sure, he makes you happy, but what if that isn't enough?_

_And what if it is? _That thought scared her even more. _What do I do then_?

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><p><strong>Please tell me what you think, I was on the fence about this one. Next comes the interview with the husband, I hope to bring up some interesting questions from his end ;).<strong>


	4. Questions

**Here it is! I like this chapter better than the last, please tell me what you think!**

**Here's a shocker: I don't own Castle!**

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><p>Castle and Beckett arrived back at the precinct about twenty minutes later, followed closely by Ryan, with Robert Mans in his car. The duration of the ride was passed by Castle developing his customary theory, this time in which Robert Mans' mistress found out that he was married and discovered his address. She then went to confront him about it, bringing a gun in case things went downhill.<p>

"However, when Tracy Mans opened the grand oak door, and the mistress saw those sparkling diamond earrings, she couldn't help it anymore. She simply pulled out her gun, and shot the wife. That's when she heard Robert's cry from up stairs. She knew she couldn't stay there too long, or Robert would see her. Now, she didn't want to kill him, she cared about him. So she took the gun and ran back out to her car, never to look back on Robert, Tracy, or that house."

"That's a lovely theory, Castle, but we haven't even talked to Robert Mans yet."

He shrugged nonchalantly. They arrived at the precinct and were immediately summoned by Ryan to speak with Mr. Mans.

"He's in shock," Ryan explained, "Right now he's speaking pretty freely, but I get that feeling that if you let him think on it too long he might start breaking down and shutting up. Or worse, calling for a lawyer."

"Kay," Beckett shot a glance through the window into the little room where the usually met with the family of the victims. She hadn't seen any reason to use the interrogation room; just because he had means and opportunity didn't necessarily mean he had motive or that he was guilty, no matter what crazy theories Castle decided to spin. Not that she minded them, she found them to be a nice break from the usual all-work just-the-facts sort of way things were done. Sometimes the theories were even helpful.

Together, Castle and Beckett entered the room. Immediately, Mr. Mans stood up.

"What the hell is going on?" He demanded, "You can't possibly think I did this to my wife!" He was shaking quite violently and his eyes were wide and red, presumably from crying.

"Mr. Mans, please have a seat," Beckett said softly.

His eyes darted from Beckett to Castle and to Beckett again. Then, he slowly sunk into a chair. Beckett lead Castle to the couch and sat down across from him.

"I just need at ask you a few questions, do you think you're up for that?" She continued gently.

His lip trembled, eyes directed at the floor, but he nodded.

"Can you lead me through what happened?" She asked.

He nodded again. Then he hesitated, no doubt gathering the courage and strength to speak, "I was upstairs on the phone with my brother."

Beckett took out a notepad and jotted this down.

"M-my brother has cancer. He's about have some intensive chemotherapy. I was on the phone with him, discussing how Tracy and I are... were... going to come out to visit him in a three weeks, right after he finishes his treatment. Then the doorbell rang and Tracy yelled to me that she was going to get it... she was in the kitchen at the time, I think. And a few seconds later I heard a gunshot," She stopped. His eyes were focused on nothing, glazed over with the horror of remembering his wife's death.

After a few seconds, Beckett prompted him, "Can you go on?"

He swallowed, but didn't move his eyes. "At first I didn't know what happened... I thought maybe... I don't know what I thought. My brother heard the shot and kept asking me, 'What the hell was that? Robbie, what happened?' I told him I didn't know. I yelled for Tracy and she didn't answer, so I went out of the bedroom and onto the stairwell. Then... then I saw her. She was just lying there. I... I didn't see anything else, everything sort of just went blurry. I dropped the phoned and I ran down to her," He swallowed, eyes filled with pain at the memory. "She-she was still alive. She was my wife!" He finally met Beckett's eyes, anger filling his own clear, blue-gray pair. "God dammit, my wife! And they killed her!" He covered his face with his hands, which Kate know saw to be coated in blood, and began sobbing.

"I know what it feels like, Mr. Mans," She said soothingly, "I understand what you're going through. You don't have to explain this part if you don't want to."

He shook his head and took in several deep breaths, "I-I talked to her. I begged... I begged her to stay with me."

Kate felt a chill flow up her spine and she shot a glance at Castle. His face was stony and his jaw firmly set.

"I-I told her that I loved her. I... I think that was the last thing she heard."

Kate felt a little dizzy, but she took a deep breath and continued softly, "And then?"

"Then I tried to resuscitate her. I took a course in CPR once... but it didn't work. I ran back to the staircase and got the phone, and called 911."

"And what time was that?"

"I don't know," He admitted.

She noted this, "Thank you. Can you think of any enemies your wife might have had?"

He shook his head, "I-I'm sorry detective, can we please continue this a different time? I don't think I can give my full attention to your questions right now. I just... I just lost my wife."

"I understand," She handed him her card, "Call me as soon as you're ready." She got up and Castle followed her lead. They were almost out the door when his voice caught her ear.

"Are you in love, Detective?"

Beckett turned back slowly to face him. His eyes were genuinely imploring, searching for someone to understand his agony. She wanted to help him very much, but she didn't know what to say to him.

This was not the kind of question you just asked someone. How the hell was she supposed to answer that? And with Castle standing right next to her, no less. Anything she did would reveal too much. If she said she didn't know or evaded it, he would get curious. If she said yes, he would think it meant she was ready. If he said no, she might hurt him.

Beckett opened her mouth and prepared for the worst.


End file.
